TIQA: Roasted red chile & showing up for the tumble
“Depth. Clarity. Connection. In under 5 minutes, weekly.”
Here’s your weekly TIQA.
One Theme, one Insight, one Quote, and one Action — to help you show up more fully for yourself and those you love.
Take what’s useful. Chuck the rest.
The Theme
It’s harvest season here in the Northern Hemisphere, and in New Mexico where I live, the smell of roasted chilies hangs heavily in the air at grocery stores and farmers markets.
The tumbling mesh roasters spinning with red chilies, bouncing and transforming into something more flavorful, remind me of what we’re doing together in group.
We are witnesses to our own transformation, becoming fuller, more seasoned, more flavorful, and more whole.
On some level, all it takes is showing up with a willingness to be tumbled a bit.
For those of us who continue to show up, it is harvest time—inside and out.
The Insight
Healing as a man can often be simpler than we think when we witness and are witnessed by others.
Sometimes, just showing up to listen to another man share honestly about his challenges, insecurities, vulnerabilities, insights, and breakthroughs suddenly creates a new way forward for us without any extra effort on our part.
Other times, sharing "what's up for you" in a group creates a positive shift by just getting it out and in the open. Being among a circle of compassionate listeners—men not trying to judge, fix, or change you—can be tremendously helpful.
These small, simple acts don’t require complicated techniques, modalities, therapies, or special tools.
Healing through sharing in a group is hard-wired in us as men, not just women.
When we feel stuck or unsure of the next step, simply showing up and allowing ourselves to be present in the process is often all that’s needed.
The Quote
“A problem shared is a problem halved.”
A timeless proverb. In psychoeducation it’s called “load sharing” and we’re hard wired for it. A healthy nervous system naturally regulates when a stressful experience is shared with a good listener.
The Action
This week, take time to reflect on the work you’ve done over the past year—especially your inner, spiritual work.
What seeds have you planted?
Where have you grown?
What are you harvesting now?
If you've got a bounty, share it today in small or big ways with those around you.
Honor your own growth.
Notice and celebrate others who have also put in the hard work.
If you feel discouraged, let that truth be part of your reflection. Notice it, thank it for it’s wisdom, and ask yourself “what small step can I take today to support myself?”
It’s always one step at a time. Sometimes large leaps, but most often small. This is how real change happens.
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https://wholemanmethod.com/articles/tiqa-roasted-red-chile-and-showing-up-for-the-tumble
Until next week,
Tyler White
Relationship Coaching for Men, Couples & Families
p.s. Tear mover: Man meets father for the first time in 37 years.